Today Alex Is Three

Today is a hard day. I am happy that Alex is three and healthy, but sad that he isn't here with us. But today I am choosing to just have hope. The second half of this verse really spoke to me:
2 Timothy 1:12
"For I know the One in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that He is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to Him."

Last year at a Bible Study the speaker was talking about how we all have treasures and dreams and some of those treasures and dreams we have to wait for. But God is the one who gave these to us and He is the one who will keep them safe until they are ours. It really spoke to me that God will protect Alex's heart and Alex himself while we wait to bring our little treasure home. So much of this adoption process I don't understand. In fact as I was talking with Andrea about it this week she said, "Sometimes life is just hard and we will never know why". That is so true. Awful things happen all the time and we always hear that there is a reason for it. I do believe there is a reason but I also don't believe we will always know what that reason is until we are face to face with Jesus.

In my mind I can't ever think that Alex not being with us is OK. But I know God is watching Him, God has a special spot in his heart for orphans, and God is working in ways that I can't see and in ways that are way bigger than this adoption. I remember going through something really hard that I didn't understand once before and someone telling me that God is working so much more than what I can see with my eyes. I also know and believe because I have seen that God can restore and redeem years to us. I must choose to hold on to hope that in some way He will restore these years to Alex and to us. I wasn't sure if I could blog about this day but I thought I should. I want to remember this when our little boy is sitting on my lap and I want to be able to have his story to share with him some day.

We made a special package and put it in the mail for Alex. We went to Build-A-Bear and made a doggy for him that we all talked into. He can push the paw and hear: "Mommy loves Alex, Daddy loves Alex, WE LOVE ALEX". We each said our part with the girls all together at the end. They all took a heart and rubbed it on their heart and made a wish and put it inside the dog. I also filled the box with bouncy balls, inflatable balls, soft balls, and candy for his little roommates. We also bought a Cars collection of cars since he seems to enjoy cars. And then Avery added one of her balls to the box. I put in some pictures of when we were with him and some scented lotions for his nannies. I really hope the box gets through customs before Christmas!!