I never knew adoption could be this hard. As I was having a pity party yesterday thinking of all the reasons this wasn't a good idea the thought kept coming to me that we are our Father's children and look how far He went for us. That's what love does. You go as far as you have to go for someone you care about. We made a commitment to be Alex's parents. We didn't say only if we get you in a year, if it costs less than x amount, if it is convenient for us. Frankly parenting anyone isn't any of those things. I know when we have him home this will not seem so bad but right now it feels very bad. It hurts to see him grow up in pictures. It hurts to tell our girls over and over that no we can't go get him today. And it will hurt to hold him and then get on a plane without him.
I don't consider myself a strong person emotionally but I know God led us here and He will get us through this. I know He is protecting our boy physically and emotionally and He is working all of this out for good. I know there is a way bigger picture that we can't see and that God is moving and He does hold the orphans close to His heart. I just need to remind myself of these truths over and over. We don't know when we are going yet but I will keep you all informed. I am so excited to hold him and love on him even if it is only for 3 days. We plan to take him some presents from the girls and it will be fun to actually see him open them. Also I'd like to get a digital video camera so I can put videos of him online for all to see. This is his recent photo:
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Please keep praying for him and for us!!
5 comments:
Aah. I feel all of the emotions with you. We ended up doing the same thing and it was so hard, but also good. One benefit is that you won't end up having to pay another huge USCIS fee after he comes home because you'll get the IR3 visa and he'll become an automatic US citizen because you met him first. I know this is so hard. I'm praying for you!
I've been thinking about you all day. I know it's hard but it will all be worth it. Praying for him to be home soon!
I spoke with LaDawn today and we have to go too. We will probably just file our I-600 while we are down there. We have to go soon, because we do not want to be in the process of extending his MV, which will need to be done in Nov, and have any chances of them not letting him re-enter. This will be fun times for all... :=) (written with sarcasm)... I am excited for the nannies to be able to see him again and see how much he has grown and progressed!!! I can't imagine how much stress this is putting on Dixie... I can't imagine!!!
I am so excited that you will be able to see Alex. You will be so blessed!!!
sorry to hear about all this-we will be praying. You can get an inexpensive digital camera that has a movie option-that way you only have to take it down and not both a camera and a video...
he is looking cuter and cuter!!Can't wait to meet him.
The new Rebel takes HD video. You would have to get some mega memory cards though. There are some that record to a hard drive and they are easier to load onto a computer, but the quality isn't quite as good. We have one that records on to tape in a digital format and it's really good quality. I wouldn't use just a regular digital (photo) camera, unless you go for the rebel.
I know the Lord is working here. He will bring Alex home to you and hopefully soon. Let me know if you need help with the girls. I would be willing to do whatever I need to do.
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